Now, where was I?

Oh yes.
Bottom of the League.
Well, whilst I've been not too well, Everton have stormed up to....er....15th.
Ahem.
Howsomever, the draw at Chelsea was satisfactory, and the second half a fine cameo of what might be over the next six months. I was particularly impressed by the central mid pairing of Rodwell and Fellaini, the latter being the fulchrum of so much good stuff - looking like the new Patrick Viera, breaking up Chelsea moves, shifting the ball quickly and intelligently, and in the end bullying the Chelsea six packs of Essien and company to the extent that they were chasing shadows.

And as for Little Leighton - fab fab fab! [sorry - lapsed into child talk there]

Some interesting games coming up - none more so than Scunthorpe away in the Cup, not easy but we might have a great chance of winning the old trophy given an even break in the draw.

As for me, I'll be whiling away the holiday period in the warmer climes of Hong Kong.
Eat yer hearts out.

The only way is up..............

Now that we're bottom of the league, the only was is up.
Indeed.
But - I am not in despair.
Because - AT LAST - Everton have kept a clean sheet.
From now on, watch us climb.
This is now a project.

Here we go again

Annoying thing football.
Well, actually it's not football that's annoying, it just the start of the season.
Well, actually, it's the start of the season if you're an Everton fan.

Last season it was a 6-1 tonking at home by Arsenal.
This year, a dreadful performance at Blackburn, encapsulated by a horror moment for Tim Howard [a Tim Howler? Sorry....].

I am, however, emboldened by several things:
First, even the Champions will lose sometime in a season [okay, except Arsenal a few years ago, but you know what I mean].
Second, sometimes it just isn't your day. A usually superb performer makes a defensive howard [sorry - howler] and it probably won't be repeated in the season.
Third, Everton have won the title in the past despite losing their opening three matches [don't ask supplementary questions: I can't remember the year and can't be arsed looking it up, okay? But it did happen. Guess is 1984/5, probably rubbish but there you go].
Fourth, I've always been bold.

As the week draws on, the Wolves game at Goodison approaches, and time to get the season off to a start.

Boldly.

Tough on Bainesy

Well,
After an indifferent performance for England against Mexico [partly caused by his first half left side midfielder giving him no cover and leaving him one-on-two five times - thanks Mr Gerrard] Leighton Baines won't be going to South Africa.
At least he won't be risking injury out there anyway.

Let us hope that his confidence will be recovered for next season, and Everton Captain Phil Neville can help there - the same thing happened to him a few years back under Glen Hoddle.

Chin up, Leighton.
You'll still do it for me.

And you are not cheating on your missus every week, either.

Thank you Carra!

On behalf of all English football fans, I would like to personally thank Jamie Carragher for all the hard graft he put in to help England qualify for the World Cup finals in South Africa.

Thanks, Jamie!

You're a STAR!

Smug response to yesterday....

Smug response to yesterday....

I was right, then, about the lacklustre performance by Everton yesterday, but it wasn't rocket science to predict it - just common sense.

In the end, not as bad a season as it might have been - remembering that the Blues were 16th in November. So, a great recovery in the second half of the term, with only 2 defeats in 23 games, and unbeaten in the last 11.
Mind you, it doesn't pay to presume that a promising end to the season presages a great season next time around. This time last year, the prundits were predicting that the biggest challengers to Manchester United, based upon their thrilling end to last season, would be [drum roll...................Tad Dah!] Liverpool.

Let's have some fun with the World Cup.

Question: will the Steven Gerrard story get out before, or during the tournament?

Will post again soon.

Say Goodbye to Stevie Day

Last day of the season, and on both sides of the park it could be say goodbye to Stevie day....................
Rumours abound that Steven Gerrard is off-you-popski to Madrid for a new start away from local problems, and it looks like Steven Pienaar wants to make some more money elsewhere.

I just get the feeling that a less than totally committed performance is on its way from the Blues - but hope I am later proved wrong.

And now, a joke for the day.
An elderly couple were sitting in their cold flat. He says to her, "It's no good - we're skint. You'll have to go out and sell your body."
12 hours later, she returns with £5 and ten pence.
"who gave you the ten pence?"
"Everybody."

One more to go.........................

Well, here we are at the last game of the season.

I wonder which Everton will turn up at GP on Sunday, given that our position is now assured at eighth and we can neither rise nor fall.

One factor worth considering - there could be one or two players whose future at the Club is under consideration, and David Moyes might just throw them in on Sunday and ask them to play for their shirt next season. Step forward, Yakubu - Hibbert - Saha.

Full house.
Lap of honour [is it still called that?].

Blah blah.

I won't be there, although my kids will be. I don't often go these days. I like a drink while watching football. And because I am [like everyone else, but not Rugby fans] considered to be a hooligan risk if drinking, I choose to eschew the live event these days. Few beers, glass or two of Merlot. That will do it for me.

Very happy with the post-November season for the Blues, and so much fun enjoying the shenanigans over the Park. Whatever happens there this summer, they are still a laughing stock.

Will be posting extensively about the World Cup.

And also loads of scurrilous transfer rumours throught the Summer.

Now - where-s that bottle of Merlot?

The Brazilian

An apophrical night in the Crosby on Wednesday, as the Blues slammed ManCity..........and during the half time break, a gem from one of the boys:

"You know that Lucas?" he mentioned, dead pan. "He's the worst Brazilian since David Blunkett shaved his wife."

Rafa must stay - tonight we march

Another brilliant result for FSW - holding the might Lille to a 0-1 scoreline.

Get onto facebook and sign up for the Rafa Must Stay! group.

You know it makes sense.

Clean Sheets

I'd like to talk about clean sheets.
And I don't mean the kind of clean sheets I never had from the age of 12 to about 20, either....

It seems that no matter how well Everton play these days, we always concede at least one goal. So it was in the home games against Sporting Lisbon, Chelsea and Manchester United, and against Spurs and Sporting Lisbon away - worse.

However, looking at today's 5-1 victory over Hull City, I was delighted with some of our play, and in particular watching those two little maestros Pienaar and Arteta in midfield. These guys are running patterns and angles you just could not coach, turning and twisting the opposition every which way - and it is a sheer joy to watch.
Add to that the combative Heitinga patrolling in front of defence like a pit bull and the sublime Leighton Baines charging up the line, and we have a potential going forward to delight anyone who knows about the beautiful game.

After a spirited first half hour, Hull City were washed away by the free flowing artisty on display.

Forget the clean sheets.

I feel like a teenager again.

Friendly Derby? My Arse!

So, why is it that a major football club allows its fans to parade a banner at the Derby match - in the front of the kop - which celebrates Steaua Bucharest winning the European Cup in 1986?

The year that the English Champions, Everton were banned from Europe because of the disgrace of Heysel.

Question:
Have Liverpool FC identified the fans and banned them for life yet?
Have Liverpool FC made a statement about this?

Guess what...............

Hypocrite!

Oh dear.....here he goes again!

Rafa Benitez accuses Sam Allardyce of telling his teams to play hard and dirty.

What about Benitez's team targetting Steven Pienaar and Marouine Fellaini in the recent Merseyside Derby match?
45 seconds gone - right arm smash into Pienaar's face by Jamie Carragher.
Second half - season-ending challenge on Fellaini.

Pot, Kettle, Waiter.

Missing - presumed lost

Has anyone seen Everton FC first team?

They seem to have gone missing since the win against Manchester United last weekend.

Please report sightings........................

Rio's back's buggered again

So - Rio Ferdinand's back's knackered again.
Bit of a shame that, as he has just been made England Captain.

And he has already missed shed loads of games this season.

Still, Fabioca, my italian relative, has the ideal solution readily at hand. Phil Jagielka will be playing his first football for along time during the next week, and by the end of the season will be fit as a fiddle.

He doesn't have a dodgy back.

And he will turn up for the drugs tests, too.

Win, Win, Fabioca Pellow - Sorted!

I'm disappointed..............

Okay, so Everton are supposed to be a big Club, right?
So - why are none of our players involved in:
[1] Playing around with other players' girlfriends or wives?
[2] Missing multiple drug test appointments and being banned for several months?
[3] Being found in Brothels? Well, apart from the puppy, and he plays for United now...
[4] Significant shagging excursions on pre-season tours?
[5] Suffering the public humiliation of having to fly to Dubai to make it up with the missus, with the World's press following every move?

Frankly, I'm disappointed.

No wonder we never win anything.

Sort it out, Moyes.