Another England

Tuned in to the England game this evening, as Leighton Baines and Phil Jagielka were due to play.
I have to admit, England friendly matches can be somewhat boring - but tonight's game with Ghana was terrific - both sides having a go and plenty of meaty challenges as well.
Everton content: Jagielka clearly drew number 13 in the raffle on the team bus. First half, out of position at left centre back to accommodate Cahill, who can only play on the right. Second half, at right full back to accommodate Lescott. Okay - bit of a surprise here - Jags did not have a good night here.
As for Leighton Baines, first half was excellent going forward but second half the Ghana coach paid him the compliment of having him virtually man-marked when going forward.
Ashley Young had a productive match in midfield, showing guile and skill, although Wilshere produced little of value. Barry was combative and organised in a holding role, and Johnson had a decent half before being subbed.
I thought Ghana were worth a draw, and Leighton Baines was very good indeed.
And - here's a thing: an England side without Terry, Cole and Ferdinand [two serial shaggers and a drug test dude] played really well and entertained over 80,000 fans.
Over to you, Fabio.

Courtesy of John Cleese [apparently]

ALERTS TO DOMESTIC THREATS IN 2011 EUROPE : (BY JOHN CLEESE)



The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.



The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.



The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.



Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."



The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose."



Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels .



The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.



Australia , meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be alright, Mate." Two more escalation levels remain: "Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!" and "The barbie is canceled." So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.



-- John Cleese - British writer, actor and tall person

Things not to do

One: when you cease to have any use for the outer casing [about three feet tall and a foot square] of an old kitchen pedal bin, do not leave it outside in the garden, on the patio area, in the Autumn.
Two: do not on any account place in said pedal bin casing the remains of the canopy of a gazebo destroyed by a particularly windy day in October.
Three: do not leave said gazebo cover in said bin casing for the whole winter, so it fills up with water.

Because there will be a day of reckoning. A day when you have to get all of the water out of the casing, then transfer the dripping wet gazebo cover into the wheely bin, and then finally take said pedal bin casing to the tip - where it should have gone last year.

That day of reckoning, alas, is tomorrow.

Tonight's News

Football -Balotelli - what an utter plonker. Appalling tackle, deserved red card. Looking at the subs City brought on, it shows the strength in depth that their money has secured. In the end, money talks, and although they went out of Europe tonight, they will be a major force in English football for the next few years.
Personal - Phil Pellow [aged 62 and three quarters] has obtained Open University Qualification in Creative Web Design, to go with his City & Guilds level 2.

Hurrah!

Another glass of Rioja, I think.............

I know it's worth pot loads of money, but............

Isn't the Champions League a load of KACK?
Boring boring boring.

Of course, if Everton were in it, different ball game.

A visitor

Beneath the holly tree and the apple tree at the bottom of the garden we have a whole bunch of rotting logs. We put them there to encourage creepy crawlies, which are good food for a number of garden birds, and they've been there for about six years now.
Early this morning, at dawn, I was in the kitchen making a cup of tea for Barbara, and saw a wren alight into the garden and poke around among the logs looking for grubs. Sheer bliss - they are such reclusive birds and what a pleasure to see one.
Taking the cup of tea, the arthritis in my left thumb gave me a sharp reminder, the cup went tits up and the tea was spilled over the kitchen floor. Twenty minutes to clean it all up.
Welcome to my world.

Spingtime

I think it's fair to say that spring has arrived -over the weekend, we spent some time in the garden clearing away the rubbish from winter. Leaves from last autumn, now morphed into dark purple mush by [1] the dreadful snow of December, [2] the garden flood of Christmas/New Year caused by a pipe becoming disconnected in the outside bog while we were away in the far east, which left the whole back garden under 4 inches of water and [c] my general indolence. Also, the Barby which hasn't moved [or been cleaned] since last used late in September. Plus, removing all of the shrubs and plants murdered by the winter weather.
Still, the garden is now "tidy".
Plus, the garden birds are now arriving at the feeding station on the apple tree. A pair of blackbirds are nest building in the monster Ivy/Holly leaf mass, and a pair of tree creepers have set up home behind the ivy. Which is nice. There are some blue tits, great tits, thrushes, sparrows and starlings around and it's nice watching them all grabbing a feed and gassing to eachother in the trees.
Managed a direct hit on the tabby cat from three houses up on Sunday morning [twatted him with an ash tray] so hopefully he will not be re-visiting soon.
Finally, we have cleared the water fountain of dead leaves and rancid water and got it going again with clear, fresh water for the birds to have a nice bath.
Phil Pellow, News at Ten, Crosby.