Right! Where was I?

Just found my old blog after changing to the new Macbook a while back.........well, I am 63 after all.

I want to say to all the doom and gloom merchants - Everton will rise again this season. We have already played the top clubs - Man City and Utd plus Chelsea - and used up many of the difficult fixtures already.

Now we can rely on David Moyes to produce results for the next few months which will move us into the top ten, with the usual spring push which might bring an FA Cup with some luck in the draw. I agree with Moyes' policy of keeping Barclay hidden until after the January transfer window is closed - let us hope he will sign a contract in December.

In the meantime, hopefully a good result at Newcastle will give us momentum.

Joey Barton

I am delighted to hear that Everton are not interested in that offensive little twat Joey Barton.

I should think not, too.

I don't think the young man is very welcome on Merseyside these days.

It was 30 years ago today

It was 30 years ago today that Howard Kendall joined Everton as player/manager from Blackburn Rovers. After a shaky start, and some well dodgy purchases in the transfer market, Howard eventually fashioned together a side that was, at its pomp, considered by many judges to be the best in Europe. They won the FA Cup in 1984, and the League Championship & European Cup-Winners Cup the next year.
The side was to be cruelly broken up after the European ban, yet Kendall still managed to win the title again before decamping to Spain.

He is also a very nice man.

And he likes a bevvy.

Cheers, Howard! Love ya.

Breaking News

Breaking news: Man Utd team to face Barcelona..

Van der Sar
Rafael
Ferdinand
Vidic
Evra
Valencia
Carrick
An unamed Premiership footballer
Park
Rooney
Hernandez

Thank you, Walter

So - Walter Smith has retired.
Rangers fans will rightly laud him as a manager who has brought many trophies [17?] to their Club over the years. Indeed, there are many who feel that Walter's achievements over the last three years have saved the Club from financial extinction.

We Evertonians also have much to thank this remarkable man for.

When he was Everton Manager, he was able to bring in many players on big fees and good wages, thanks to the largesse of then chairman and owner Peter Johnson. Johnson, according to local legend, borrowed 20 million pounds for squad development with a bank loan secured against shares in his company which provided hampers at Christmas, and Smith brought in players such as Marco Materazzi, Olivier D'Acourt, John Collins in an attempt to elevate the Club's position. Alas, things went badly tits up for Mr Johnson - he took his eyes off the Company Ball back in Hamper-land, the shares crashed and the bank explained to him that he did not have enough collateral in his shareholdings to cover the loan. Something had to be done, and fast.
So, without the knowledge of the manager - Walter Smith - Johnson negotiated the sale of Goodison icon Duncan Ferguson to Newcastle United, to claw back some of the debt. Eventually, Collins, D'Acourt and Materazzi went too.
The Club was in financial turmoil.
The fans wanted Bill Kenwright to take over, but Johnson was holding out for big money - initially over 70 million. Kenwright did not have anything like that sort of cash. Everton was in limbo.
Shorn of many players, without any finance to develop the squad, Walter kept on going and somehow managed to keep the Club in the top flight.
Eventually, Bill Kenwright took over the Club, but with just enough to buy Johnson's shares he didn't have the wherewithall to bring in massive signings. Walter carried on manfully with little resource available to him, but eventually he lost his job.
Bill Kenwright said at the time that this was the most difficult decision he had ever had to make, and rightly praised Walter for his role in saving Everton.

So - thank you, Walter Smith. You won no trophies as Everton manager, but you kept our great old Club where it belongs - in the top flight of English football.

Enjoy your retirement - and come down and see us some time.

Flo-rida

Having been here in Florida for several days, I have to say that [despite my initial misgivings] I kinda like the place. The service in bars and restaurants has the same cloying "have a nice day" shite that you expect in the USA, but in most cases they REALLY MEAN IT.
They are just nice people. Mostly from central America or Cuba, the staff in the restaurants and bars are intelligent, multi-lingual folk who like what they do.
Compare that to the average barmaid in Liverpool, whose first greeting might be, "What do you want?"
We have attended the wedding of two pals [which is why we're here] and just hung out with friends so far, but tomorrow we are off to Universal Studios - might be a knackering experience.......

Arsene - You've totally lost the plot

Now, much as it grieves me that Liverpool managed a late penalty equaliser in the 75th minute of added time at the weekend, I had to grimace at the childish, petulant response of Arsene Wenger at the end of the game. When Dalglish moved towards Wenger [presumably to offer a handshake etc] he was greeted by a shower of invective [I read that in the Times once].
Dalglish, correctly, changed his manner and told the mad Frog to eff off.

When someone earning potloads of money, and expected to set the correct example to his players as well, behaves in such an uncivilised manner, then there is only one response.

Oy!
Arsene!
We saved your Country, freed you from the Hun, and gave you De Gaulle!
[Well, two out of three ain't bad...]
Show some respect to the intinerant Jock!

Wise words indeed..from http://thelawwestofealingbroadway.blogspot.com/

The High Court has ruled about the so-called 'kettling' of demonstrators. There will be an appeal, we hear, but let's get back to first principles:-

I have no problem with the police restraining parts of crowds to protect officers, civilians, and property.
Any interference with the public's freedom needs to be necessary and proportionate.
It also needs to be imposed for the shortest possible time.
What appears to have outraged many people was the prolonged containment of so many, including well behaved bystanders, for hours, while refusing appeals from the unwell, the elderly, and even those desperate to use a lavatory.
The appeal will proceed. If the judgment is upheld, the civil claims will pour in to the Met.
Common sense is more British, and is also a lot cheaper than bungled confrontation

Angry boy is now nice boy

Ah............Wayne Rooney scored a fine goal for Manchester
United against Chelsea last night, and was all smiles afterwards - no swearing into the lens this time!
Jolly good show, old bean.

And his 2 match ban has been confirmed by the Premier League. After which, Rooney has now told the press that he is being victimised - lots of players swear during the game, so why me?

Listen, son.

A bit of agricultural language happens during the cut and thrust of the match. However, after scoring, if you dash towards a TV camera lens and give it loads right in front of the watching nation, then that's a bit different.

You are a successful millionaire with a beautiful wife and fantastic life.

So all this anger doesn't wash with us ordinary folk who have to work hard for a living with much less reward than you.

Don't you understand that we are not stupid?

Get a grip, count your blessings and chill.

Plonker.

Shooting yerself in the [left] foot?

Emailed this morning from Everton FC on their mailing list, and the headline was - find out who wants to bid for Leighton Baines. The link is into the Daily Mail piece alleging that Arsene Wenger is preparing a ten million pound bid for Baines this summer, as his current left back won't sign a new deal......

Now, the Daily Mail can speculate about this stuff as much as they like [they often get it totally wrong, but that's by the bye] but why on Earth does Everton FC want to add publicity for this highly speculative bit of nonsense - on match day as well?

The half wit who made this decision must be blessed with the judgement of retarded fruit fly.

Apropos of today's game, there is a bit of breeze but it is sunny and bright here on Merseyside. Villa won't be after parking the bus across their penalty box, so I expect a few goals - at both ends. Hoping for a win for the Blues, but most importantly that the luncheon is satisfactory in the hospitality area.

Champagne at 12.15 - hurrah!

Stat of the week

Everton have not beaten Aston Villa for nine matches, apparently.
Bets for tomorrow?

Everton to win, Tony Hibbert to score.

Collect you winnings Monday morning. Thousands of pounds.

Another England

Tuned in to the England game this evening, as Leighton Baines and Phil Jagielka were due to play.
I have to admit, England friendly matches can be somewhat boring - but tonight's game with Ghana was terrific - both sides having a go and plenty of meaty challenges as well.
Everton content: Jagielka clearly drew number 13 in the raffle on the team bus. First half, out of position at left centre back to accommodate Cahill, who can only play on the right. Second half, at right full back to accommodate Lescott. Okay - bit of a surprise here - Jags did not have a good night here.
As for Leighton Baines, first half was excellent going forward but second half the Ghana coach paid him the compliment of having him virtually man-marked when going forward.
Ashley Young had a productive match in midfield, showing guile and skill, although Wilshere produced little of value. Barry was combative and organised in a holding role, and Johnson had a decent half before being subbed.
I thought Ghana were worth a draw, and Leighton Baines was very good indeed.
And - here's a thing: an England side without Terry, Cole and Ferdinand [two serial shaggers and a drug test dude] played really well and entertained over 80,000 fans.
Over to you, Fabio.

Courtesy of John Cleese [apparently]

ALERTS TO DOMESTIC THREATS IN 2011 EUROPE : (BY JOHN CLEESE)



The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.



The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.



The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.



Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."



The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose."



Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels .



The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.



Australia , meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be alright, Mate." Two more escalation levels remain: "Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!" and "The barbie is canceled." So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.



-- John Cleese - British writer, actor and tall person

Things not to do

One: when you cease to have any use for the outer casing [about three feet tall and a foot square] of an old kitchen pedal bin, do not leave it outside in the garden, on the patio area, in the Autumn.
Two: do not on any account place in said pedal bin casing the remains of the canopy of a gazebo destroyed by a particularly windy day in October.
Three: do not leave said gazebo cover in said bin casing for the whole winter, so it fills up with water.

Because there will be a day of reckoning. A day when you have to get all of the water out of the casing, then transfer the dripping wet gazebo cover into the wheely bin, and then finally take said pedal bin casing to the tip - where it should have gone last year.

That day of reckoning, alas, is tomorrow.

Tonight's News

Football -Balotelli - what an utter plonker. Appalling tackle, deserved red card. Looking at the subs City brought on, it shows the strength in depth that their money has secured. In the end, money talks, and although they went out of Europe tonight, they will be a major force in English football for the next few years.
Personal - Phil Pellow [aged 62 and three quarters] has obtained Open University Qualification in Creative Web Design, to go with his City & Guilds level 2.

Hurrah!

Another glass of Rioja, I think.............

I know it's worth pot loads of money, but............

Isn't the Champions League a load of KACK?
Boring boring boring.

Of course, if Everton were in it, different ball game.

A visitor

Beneath the holly tree and the apple tree at the bottom of the garden we have a whole bunch of rotting logs. We put them there to encourage creepy crawlies, which are good food for a number of garden birds, and they've been there for about six years now.
Early this morning, at dawn, I was in the kitchen making a cup of tea for Barbara, and saw a wren alight into the garden and poke around among the logs looking for grubs. Sheer bliss - they are such reclusive birds and what a pleasure to see one.
Taking the cup of tea, the arthritis in my left thumb gave me a sharp reminder, the cup went tits up and the tea was spilled over the kitchen floor. Twenty minutes to clean it all up.
Welcome to my world.

Spingtime

I think it's fair to say that spring has arrived -over the weekend, we spent some time in the garden clearing away the rubbish from winter. Leaves from last autumn, now morphed into dark purple mush by [1] the dreadful snow of December, [2] the garden flood of Christmas/New Year caused by a pipe becoming disconnected in the outside bog while we were away in the far east, which left the whole back garden under 4 inches of water and [c] my general indolence. Also, the Barby which hasn't moved [or been cleaned] since last used late in September. Plus, removing all of the shrubs and plants murdered by the winter weather.
Still, the garden is now "tidy".
Plus, the garden birds are now arriving at the feeding station on the apple tree. A pair of blackbirds are nest building in the monster Ivy/Holly leaf mass, and a pair of tree creepers have set up home behind the ivy. Which is nice. There are some blue tits, great tits, thrushes, sparrows and starlings around and it's nice watching them all grabbing a feed and gassing to eachother in the trees.
Managed a direct hit on the tabby cat from three houses up on Sunday morning [twatted him with an ash tray] so hopefully he will not be re-visiting soon.
Finally, we have cleared the water fountain of dead leaves and rancid water and got it going again with clear, fresh water for the birds to have a nice bath.
Phil Pellow, News at Ten, Crosby.

Poetry corner 3

From Satis? Fanzine, 1999:

The ghosts look down in sadness
As we drift from higher plains
They must recall their own careers
Where pride always remains

The tackles, passes, movement, goals
The roaring of the crowds
The sun, the rain, the wind and snow
Flat caps, and smoke in clouds

Gleaming trophies lifted high
oh-six, and thirty-three
Jimmy Dunne and Alec Troupe
Joe Mercer, Stein.........Dixie

Sleeves rolled up. passions high
when the going became tough
Giants who believed
Only the Best is Good Enough

And now we pray to lesser gods
with flash cars, agents, designer gear
Whose passion is for sound accounts
with cash to spare, no fear

They sit us down, they calm us down
they price the workers out
They sell us forty five quid tops
And dip their greedy snouts

And where is all the passion gone?
The love, the care? How come
They cannot understand it?
Nil Satis Nisi Optimum

Bodily harm - A Warning

What starts as a passionate cuddle can develop into serious damage to the body - if your wife has [a] significant fingernails, and [b] little control.

Blood will flow.

you have been warned.