Missing - presumed lost

Has anyone seen Everton FC first team?

They seem to have gone missing since the win against Manchester United last weekend.

Please report sightings........................

Rio's back's buggered again

So - Rio Ferdinand's back's knackered again.
Bit of a shame that, as he has just been made England Captain.

And he has already missed shed loads of games this season.

Still, Fabioca, my italian relative, has the ideal solution readily at hand. Phil Jagielka will be playing his first football for along time during the next week, and by the end of the season will be fit as a fiddle.

He doesn't have a dodgy back.

And he will turn up for the drugs tests, too.

Win, Win, Fabioca Pellow - Sorted!

I'm disappointed..............

Okay, so Everton are supposed to be a big Club, right?
So - why are none of our players involved in:
[1] Playing around with other players' girlfriends or wives?
[2] Missing multiple drug test appointments and being banned for several months?
[3] Being found in Brothels? Well, apart from the puppy, and he plays for United now...
[4] Significant shagging excursions on pre-season tours?
[5] Suffering the public humiliation of having to fly to Dubai to make it up with the missus, with the World's press following every move?

Frankly, I'm disappointed.

No wonder we never win anything.

Sort it out, Moyes.